Shareware Super Platinum 8/Shareware Super Platinum 8.iso/mac/DATABASE/COOK_200.ZIP;1/ONELINER.CKS

Text File | 1992-07-01 | 102.4 KB | 2,101 lines

}!07/11 PDP a ni deppart m'I  !pleH
}$3,000,000
}'LOVE' is nothing but 'SEX' mispelled.
}'SEX' is nothing but 'LOVE' misunderstood.
}'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves / Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
}(null cookie; hope that's ok)
}... and furthermore ... I don't like your trousers.
}...and I came to regard men as a strange sort of delicacy.
}...And then the fun began. - N. Bonaparte
}...For the Snark *was* a Boojum, you see.
}//GO.SYSIN DD *, DOODAH, DOODAH
}/earth is 98% full ... please delete anyone you can.
}10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
}11-PDP eht edisni deppart ma I !pleH
}186,000 mps: It's not just a good idea -- It's the law.
}186,282 miles per second;  it's not just a good idea, it's the LAW.
}43% of all statistics are worthless.
}90% of any business transaction is selling yourself to the client. -X Hollander
}A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds...
}A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.
}A bird in the hand can be messy.
}A bird in the hand is bad table manners.
}A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
}A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.
}A car raising contest is a jack off.
}A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.
}A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
}A child of five could understand this!  Fetch me a child of five.
}A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
}A clean, neat, and orderly work place is a sure sign of a sick mind.
}A closed mouth gathers no feet.
}A closed mouth gathers no foot.
}A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
}A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
}A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
}A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
}A cow eats without a knife.
}A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?
}"A day without sunshine is like night."
}A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...
}A doll is a doll is a doll. - F. Sinatra
}A fool and his money are invited places.
}A fool and your money are soon partners.
}A fool must now and then be right by chance.
}A free agent is anything but.
}A friend asks only for your time, not your money.
}A friend in need is a pest. - Fafird
}A friend is someone you can do nothing with, and enjoy it.
}A generation which ignores history has no past - and no future.
}A gift of flowers will soon be made to you.
}A good education is the next-best thing to a pushy mother.
}A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
}A hollow voice says, "Plugh".
}A horse may be forced to drink but a pencil must be lead...
}A jewel has much brilliance but gives no warmth.
}A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
}A king's castle is his home.
}A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
}A lie in time saves nine.
}A long memory is the most subversive idea in America.
}A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never.
}A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
}A man without a god is like a fish without a bicycle.
}A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
}A man's best friend is his dogma.
}A man's house is his hassle.
}A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
}A minute contains 60 seconds unless it's preceded by "Just a".
}A motion to adjourn is always in order.
}A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
}A nuclear explosion can really ruin your day!
}A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.
}A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out!
}A penny saved is ridiculous.
}A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
}A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
}A present, over which you will shed tears of joy.
}A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
}A Prune -- plum tuckered out.
}"A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives."
}A rolling disk gathers no MOS.
}A rolling stone must be a considerably round one.
}A rule is an opinion in trouble.
}A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.
}A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
}A skunk is better company than a person who prides himself on being "frank."
}A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down! - L. Borgia (or Poppins, M.)
}A stitch in time makes absolutely no sense what so ever.
}A stitch in time saves nine.
}A tautology is a thing which is tautological.
}A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence ends.
}A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed.
}A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
}A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.
}A woman, like a good piece of music, should have a solid end. - F. Schubert
}A word to the wise is often enough to start an argument.
}A world and a life where everything seems to fit is called "unity".
}A year spent in Artificial Intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
}A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes.
}Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
}Abolish first marriages!
}Abortion is a miscarriage of justice.
}Above all else - sky.
}Absence makes the heart go wander.
}Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
}Absolutely nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog.
}Accordion:  A bagpipe with pleats.
}Accuracy:  The vice of being right.
}Acid -- better living through chemistry.
}Acid absorbs 47 times it's weight in excess Reality.
}Acid consumes 47 times its weight in excess reality.
}Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing.
}Actors will happen even in the best-regulated families.
}Admiration:  Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
}Adult: One old enough to know better.
}After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
}After all is said and done, a lot more has been said than done.
}After all is said and done, sit down.
}After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
}Ah say, son, you're about as sharp as a bowlin' ball.
}Air is water with holes in it
}Air pollution is a mist demeanor.
}Alex Haley was adopted!
}Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.
}All animals are created equal, but some are more equal than others.
}All cats are grey in the dark. -- Ben Franklin
}All extremists should be taken out and shot.
}All generalizations are bad.    --- R.H. Grenier
}All I hope, is to be able to laugh when I die. - Leiji Matsumoto
}All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
}All programmers want arrays!
}All requests for sick leave must be approved two weeks in advance.
}All syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is not a syllogism.
}All that glitters has a high refractive index.
}All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.
}All things are possible except skiing thru a revolving door.
}All things are possible, except skiing thru a revolving door.
}All things come to him who orders hash.
}All things come to him whose name is on a mailing list.
}All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
}All women look the same in the dark.      --- Graffiti
}All's fair in love and war - What a contemptable lie!
}All's well that ends well. - E.A. Poe
}All's well that ends.
}Although the moon is smaller than the earth, it is farther away.
}Always remember that you are unique.  Just like everyone else.
}Always store beer in a dark place.
}Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.
}Always yield to temptation, for it may not pass your way again.
}Am I ranting?  I hope so.  My ranting gets raves.
}Ambition a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
}Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it.
}Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
}An adequate bootstrap is a contradiction in terms.
}An apple every eight hours will keep three doctors away.
}An archeologist's career lies in ruins.
}An artist should be fit for the best society and keep out of it.
}An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.
}An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's in a rut.
}An elephant is a mouse built to Mil-spec.
}An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
}An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
}An engineer is someone who does list processing in Fortran.
}An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future.
}An expert is someone from out of town.
}An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
}An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
}"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of purge."
}Anal erotics are behind us all the way.
}Anarchy is against the law.
}Anarchy is better that no government at all.
}And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.
}Anger is a momentary madness.       --- Horace
}Ankh if you love Isis.
}Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
}Anticipating is even more fun than recollecting.
}Antonym:  The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
}Any given program, when running correctly, is obsolete.
}Any man who says he can see through a woman is missing a lot.
}Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.
}Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.
}Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
}Any woman is a volume if one knows how to read her.
}Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
}Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human.
}Anyone who marries for money earns every cent of it.
}Anything free is what you pay for it.
}Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
}Anything is good and useful if it's made of chocolate.
}Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
}Anything that is good and useful is made of chocolate.
}Anything worth doing is worth overdoing
}Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
}Anything worth doing, is worth doing for a profit! - Tericius
}"Apathy is not the problem, it's the solution"
}Archaeologists take sedimental journeys.
}Archimedes had no principles!
}Are movies about Vulcans Pathe-logical?
}Are you a turtle?
}Are you going to sleep at all tonight?!
}Armadillo: to provide weapons to a Spanish pickle.
}Art is your fate; don't debate.
}Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum.
}As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
}As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
}As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.
}As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of demand.
}As you read the scroll, it vanishes...
}As Zeus said to Narcissus, "Watch yourself."
}ASHes to ASHes, DOS to DOS.
}Ask not for whom the <CONTROL-G> tolls.
}Ass, n.: The masculine of "lass".
}Astronauts are out to launch.
}Astronauts get missile-toe.
}"At least they're EXPERIENCED incompetents"
}Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
}Automobile - A mechanical device that runs up hills and down people.
}Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.
}Avoid reality at all costs!
}Avoid reality at all costs.
}Avoid September.
}B C N U  *salute*
}Bad spellers of the world, untie!
}Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.
}Bank error in your favor. Collect $200.
}Basic is a high level languish.
}"BASIC is the Computer Science equivalent of `Scientific Creationism'."
}BATCH - A group, kinda like a herd.
}Battle Creek makes cereal terminals.
}BE ALERT!!!! (The world needs more lerts ...)
}Be alert,  America needs more lerts.
}Be braver -- you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
}Be careful what you ask for - you may get it!
}Be different: conform.
}Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.
}Be myself.  Who else is better qualified?
}Be security conscious -- National defense is at stake.
}Be self-reliant and your success is assured.
}Be tactful; overlook not your own opportunity.
} Beam Me Up, Scotty...  There's No Intelligent Life On Here.
}Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
}Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
}Beauty is only skin deep, but Ugly goes straight to the bone.
}Beauty seldom recommends one woman to another.
}Bedfellows make strange politicians.
}Beginning is all there ever is.
}Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
}Behind every successful man you'll find a woman with nothing to wear.
}"Being disintegrated makes me ve-ry an-gry!"  <huff, huff>
}Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.
}Best of all is never to have been born.  Second best is to die soon.
}Better dead than mellow.
}Better to use medicines at the outset than at the last moment.
}Between cheap and expen$ive is the truth.
}Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. - Thoreau
}Beware of computerized fortune-tellers!
}Beware of friends who are false and deceitful.
}Beware of low flying butterflies.
}Beware of low-flying butterflies.
}Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers
}Beware of quantum ducks:  quark, quark.
}Beware the granfalloon.
}Big Brother is watching.
}Biology grows on you.
}Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
}Bizarreness is the essence of the exotic
}Blame Saint Andreas - its all his fault.
}Blessed are the censors, for they shall inhibit the earth.
}Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
}BLISS is ignorance
}Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
}Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier.
}BOO!  We changed Coke again!  BLEAH!  BLEAH!
}Boy Hippie: a guy who looks like a Jill and smells like a john.
}Boy:  A noise with dirt on it.
}Boycott meat - suck your thumb.
}Brain -- the apparatus with which we think that we think.
}Brain fried -- Core dumped
}Brain:  The apparatus with which we think that we think.
}Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience.
}Bring the whole family... but leave the kids at home! - R. McDonald
}Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
}Bureaucrats cut red tape -- lengthwise.
}Burroughs programmers have to pay a Poll tax.
}Business is like oil, it won't mix with anything but business.
}"But I don't like Spam!!!!"
}Buy low, sell high.
}By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
}By following the good, you learn to be good.
}Call out the vice squad!  Someone's mounting a disk drive!
}Can you prove it didn't happen? - PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE.
}Careful planning is the key to safe and swift travel - Ulysses
}Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.
}CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
}Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch.
}Celibacy is NOT hereditary.
}Chaste makes waste.
}Chastity is its own punishment.
}Cheap things are of no value, valuable things are not cheap.
}Chemistry professors never die, they just fail to react.
}Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!
}Chemists have solutions.
}Chemists really know their bismuth.
}Cheop's Law: Nothing _ever_ gets built on schedule or within budget.
}Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.
}Chicken feed is what most of our nest eggs have turned into.
}Chicken Little only has to be right once.
}Chicken Little was right.
}Children should be obscene and not heard.
}Children sweeten labors, but that make misfortunes more bitter.  --- Bacon
}Choose carefully the hills you want to die on.
}Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you! - Y. Arafat
}Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him.
}Clark Kent is a transvestite.
}Cleanliness is next to impossible.
}CLEARASOL - Effective sunspot remover.
}Cleveland still lives.  God must be dead.
}"Cleveland? Yes, I spent a week there one day."
}Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
}Clones are people two.
}Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
}Cobol programmers are down in the dumps.
}COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.
}COBOL programs are an exercise in Artificial Inelegance.
}Cocaine -- the thinking man's Dristan.
}Coed dorms promote campus unrest.
}COLE's LAW  -  Thinly sliced cabbage.
}Common sense is very uncommon.
}Communists do it without class.
}Computer Engineers do it bit by bit.
}Computer hackers do it all night long.
}Computer modelers simulate it first.
}Computer programmers do it byte by byte
}Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.
}Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.
}Computer programmers never die, they just get lost in the processing.
}Computer Science is embarrassed by the computer.
}Computer: a device which is designed to drive human beings insane.
}Computers also eliminate spare time.
}Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
}Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
}Computers can never replace human stupidity.
}Computers Unite!  You have nothing to lose but your operators.
}Condense soup, not books!
}Condense soup, not books.
}Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
}Confucious say too damn much!
}Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking.
}Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
}Constants aren't;  variables don't.
}Contact with a friend may provide some unexpected income advantages.
}COOK DISARMS GUNMAN -- IN SHORT ORDER.
}Cookies are to be eaten...   C H O M P !
}Corrupt: In politics, holding an office of trust or profit.
}Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
}Courage is your greatest present need.
}CPU time flies when you're having fun.
}Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
}Crime wouldn't pay, if the government ran it.
}"Curiouser and curiouser!" cried Alice.
}Cynic:  One who looks through rose-colored glasses with a jaundiced eye.
}Dammit! I'm a doctor Jim, not a geothermal technician!  --- Deforest Kelly
}Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.
}Dawn:  The time when men of reason go to bed.
}Day of inquiry.  You will be subpoenaed.
}Death - nature's way of saying "Slow down"
}Death and taxes may always be, but at least death doesn't get any worse.
}Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
}Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
}Death is Nature's way of recycling human beings.
}Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
}"Death is nature's way of saying `Howdy'".
}Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down
}Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
}Death to all extremists!
}Death to all fanatics!
}Defendant's speech ends in long sentence.
}Deja vu?  Hmm, I've heard that expression somewhere before.
}"Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow."
}Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split.
}Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
}Did I say 2?  I lied.
}Did Mt. St. Helens make Seattle Wash. ?
}Did you know that clones never use mirrors?
}Did you know that no-one ever reads these things?
}Didn't I see you on America's Most Wanted??
}Different all twisty a of in maze are you, passages little.
}Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
}Diplomacy - the art of letting someone else have your way.
}Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
}Diplomacy is the delicate weapon of the civilized warrior. - Hun, A.T.
}Disc space -- the final frontier!
}Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
}Disks travel in packs.
}Disregard the previous cookie.
}Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?
}Do married women make the best wives?
}Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?
}Do not adjust your set.  WE are in control.
}Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
}Do not clog intellect's sluices with knowledge of questionable uses.
}DO NOT CUT ALONG THE LINE
}Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
}Do not read this cookie under penalty of law.
}Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
}Do not write on walls -  use a typewriter.
}Do something unusual today.  Accomplish work on the computer.
}Do something unusual today.  Pay a bill.
}Do students of Zen Buddhism do Om-work?
}Do unto others before they undo you.
}Do you have lysdexia?
}Do you know where *your* towel is?
}Do you like it better here or in the summer?
}Do you still love Mother Nature.....even after what she did to you?
}Documentation is like sex: When it's good, it's fantastic, when it's bad...
}Does history record *any* case in which the majority was right?
}Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
}Domestic happiness and faithful friends.
}Don't abandon hope: your Tom Mix decoder ring arrives tomorrow.
}Don't ask me - I'm making this up as I go!
}Don't ask me; I was hired for my looks.
}Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
}Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
}Don't blame me... I didn't do it!
}Don't cook tonight -- starve a rat today!
}"Don't Dream It, Be It!"   --- Rocky Horror Picture Show
}Don't feed the bats tonight.
}Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
}Don't get even -- get odd!
}Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.
}Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.
}Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.
}Don't hit a man when he's down -- kick him; it's easier.
}Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
}Don't knock President Fillmore.  He kept us out of Vietnam.
}Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone.
}Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
}Don't panic.
}Don't read this cookie!
}Don't recycle -- the water you drink may be your own.
}Don't store garlic near other victuals.
}Don't sweat it - it's only ones and zeros.
}Don't take life too seriously -- you'll never get out of it alive.
}Don't tell me how hard you work.  Tell me how much you get done.
}Don't try to have the last word.  You might get it.
}Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.
}Don't you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in?
}Dont pick up that phonö9ìú  NO CARRIER
}"Doubt is the beginning of wisdom"
}Down with categeorical imperatives!
}Down with categorical imperative!
}Draw from your fine command of language and say nothing.
}Draw your salary before spending it.
}Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
}Drilling for oil is boring.
}Drink Canada Dry!  You might not succeed, but it *is* fun trying.
}Drive defensively -- buy a tank.
}Drive defensively. Buy a tank.
}Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.
}Duty: A fee paid for transacting in good<s>. - U.S. Dept. of Commerce
}E Pluribus Unix
}E. COLI eats shit.
}Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail friends.
}Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail your friends
}Earth is a beta site.
} Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.
}Eat prune yogurt for that 'get up and go' feeling.
}"Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may work."
}Economy makes men independent.
}Editing is a rewording activity.
}Egotism is the drug that soothes the pain of stupidity.
}eHpl ! Imat arppdei sndi eht eDP-P11
}Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.
}Elevators smell different to midgets
}Eliminate government waste no matter how much it costs.
}Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.
}Engineers do it precisely. Technicians do it a lot.
}Enjoy your kids while they're young and still on your side.
}Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
}Entropy isn't what it used to be.
}Epigrams are macros, since they are executed at read time.
}Equal bytes for women.
}Error in operator: add beer
}Eschew Obfuscation!
}Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
}Even moderation can be practiced to excess.
}Even rats learn from experience.
}Even the boldest zebra fear the hungry lion.
}Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
}Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
}Ever get the feeling someone is watching you?
}Everthing put together falls apart.
}Every absurdity has a champion who will defend it.
}Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.
}"Every dogma has its day." -- Sylvester McCoy (BBC's Dr. Who)
}Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
}"Every man has his price.  Mine is $3.95."
}Every program is part of some other program and rarely fits.
}Every purchase has its price.
}Every solution breeds new problems.
}Every sound should end in silence, but the silence never dies.
}"Every time I think I know where it's at, they move it."
}Everybody lies about sex.
}Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
}Everyone complains of his memory, no one of his judgment.
}Everyone complains of their memory, never of their judgment.
}Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
}Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
}Everyone should know where his towel is.
}Everything bows to success, even grammar.
}Everything should be built top-down, except the first time.
}Everything usually goes wrong at once!
}Everything you know is wrong!
}"Evil always triumphs because good is dumb." - Dark Helmet, _Spaceballs_
}Excellent day for drinking heavily.  Spike office water cooler.
}Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator.
}Excellent day to have a rotten day.
}Excellent time to become a missing person.
}Exceptions always outnumber rules.
}Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget.
}Excessive login or logout messages are a sure sign of senility.
}Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
}Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.
}Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.
}Experience is a good school but is not very strong on vacations.
}Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.
}F u cn rd ths u cnt spl wrth a dm!
}f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.
}f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
}Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
}Failure teaches success.
}Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them use to reality.
}Faith goes out through the window when beauty comes in at the door.
}Fake it till you make it.
}Familiarity breeds attempt
}Familiarity breeds attempt.
}Familiarity breeds children.
}Famous last words:
}Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
}Fats Loves Madelyn
}Fauns are never Satyr-sfied!
}Feel disillusioned? I've got some great new illusions ...
}Female programmers get their bits twiddled.
}Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
}Fine day to throw a party.  Throw him as far as you can.
}Fine day to work off excess energy.  Steal something heavy.
}Flying is the art of throwing yourself at the ground... and missing!
}For 20 dollars, I'll give you a good fortune next time ...
}For a good time, call [phone]
}For a holy stint, a moth of the cloth gave up his woolens for lint.
}For a quick energy boost, nothing beats having the boss walk in.
}"For an adequate time call 555-3321"
}For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
}For large values of one, one equals two, for small values of two.
}For some reason, this fortune reminds everyone of Marvin Zelkowitz.
}For success today, look first to yourself.
}For your penance, say five Hail Marys and one loud BLAH!
}Forms follow function, and often obliterate it.
}Fortune Cookie says: Don't look back, always look ahead.
}Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgment.
}fortune: cpu time/usefulness ratio too high -- core dumped.
}Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.
}Friction is a drag.
}Friends come and go. Enemies accumulate.
}Friendship one soul in two bodies.
}From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance.
}Future looks spotty.  You will spill soup in late evening.
}Garbage In -- Gospel Out.
}gardeners are prone to sod-den decisions!
}Gargling twice daily is a good way to see if your neck leaks.
}GAY ABANDON - Homosexual repellent perfume.
}"Gee, Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore."
}Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
}Geometer turned general - a sphereless leader.
}George Orwell was an optimist.
}Get forgiveness now -- tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.
}Get off your ASCII.
}Give - help send a girl to Boy's Town.
}Give me librium or give me meth.
}Give me the Luxuries, and the Hell with the Necessities!
}Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
}GIVE:  Support the helpless victims of computer error.
}Go 'way! You're bothering me!
}Go climb a gravity well!
}Go climb a gravity well.
}Go Hawaiian: Give your gal a lei.
}Go soak your head, Puny Human!
}"Go to Hell!" or other direct insult is all a snoopy question rates.
}God didn't create the world in 7 days.  He pulled an all-nighter on the 6th.
}God gives us relatives; thank God we can chose our friends.
}God is a comic playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh
}God is a polythiest
}God is not dead!  He's alive and autographing bibles at Cody's
}God is real, unless declared integer.
}God is subtle but he is not malicious - A. Einstein
}God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place.
}God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man.
}God made the world in six days, and was arrested on the seventh.
}God must love the Common Man; He made so many of them.
}Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
}Good company on a journey makes the way seem shorter.  -- Izaak Walton
}Good day for a change of scene. Repaper the bedroom wall.
}Good day for overcoming obstacles. Try a steeplechase.
}Good day to avoid cops.  Crawl to school.
}Good day to let down old friends who need help.
}Good health will be yours for a long time.
}Good information is hard to get. Doing anything with it is even harder.
}Good leaders being scarce, following yourself is allowed.
}Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.
}Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.
}Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
}Good sense is easier to have than use.
}Graduate life -- it's not just a job, it's an indenture.
}Graduate life: It's not just a job.  It's an indenture.
}Graffiti has changed deface of the nation.
}Grass is nature's way of saying 'High!'
}Gravity brings me down.
}Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.
}Great minds run in great circles.
}Gun control is being able to hit your target!
}Hacking's just another word for nothing left to kludge.
}Half Moon tonight.  (At least it's better than no Moon at all.)
}Hang up your logic over there.
}Happiness is a hard disk.
}Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion.
}Happiness is twin floppies.
}Hard where? Soft where?
}Hard work may not kill you, but why take chances?
}Hasty schizophrenics do things in a lickity split way.
}"Have a good day?"  I'll have any kind of day I damn well please!!!
}Have an adequate day.
}Have you ever shown a novice the "any" key?
}Have you reconsidered a computer career?
}Hawaii is as American as apple poi.
}"He flung himself on his horse and rode madly off in all directions"
}He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
}He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
}He keeps differentiating.... flying off on a tangent.
}He likes to flirt, but toward you his intentions are honorable.
}He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
}He sank to new heights.
}He thinks he could easily win your heart.
}He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.
}He was so crooked you could use him to pull corks with...
}He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with two eyes.
}He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
}He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
}He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
}He who has had, has been, but he who hasn't been, has been had.
}He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
}He who hesitates is constipated.
}He who hesitates is last.
}He who hesitates is probably right.
}He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
}He who is flogged by fate and laughs the louder is a masochist.
}He who is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
}He who is henpecked may lend an ear to other chicks.
}He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
}He who laughs last is probably your boss.
}He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.
}He who Laughs, Lasts.
}He who steps on others to reach the top has good balance.
}He who uses bad language is an ignorant schmuck.
}"He's just a politician trying to save both his faces ..."
}"He's just a politician trying to save both his faces..."
}Heisenberg may have been right.
}"Heisenberg may have slept here"
}Heisenburg may have slept here.
}Hell hath no fury like a demon scorched. - C. Mather
}Help a swallow land at Capistrano.
}Help fight continental drift.
}Help me, I'm a prisoner in a Fortune cookie file!
}Help stamp out and abolish redundancy!
}Help stamp out and abolish redundancy.
}Help support helpless victims of computer error.
}Help! I'm being held prisoner in a fortune cookie factory!
}Help!  I'm trapped in a PDP 11/70!
}Herblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it.
}Here comes the orator, with his flood of words and his drop of reason.
}Here is further away than you think...
}Hermits have no peer pressure.
}Hi!  What's new and improved?
}Hindsight is an exact science.
}Hire the morally handicapped.
}His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
}His life was formal;  his actions seemed ruled with a ruler.
}"His super power is to turn into a scotch terrier."
}History books which contain no lies are extremely dull.
}History does not repeat itself, -- historians merely repeat each other.
}History doesn't repeat itself.  Historians merely repeat each other.
}History repeats itself. That's one thing wrong with history.
}Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce. - Henry VIII
}Honesty is next to poverty.
}Honk if you hate bumper stickers that say "Honk if ..."
}Honk if you love peace and quiet.
}Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa.
}Housework rots the mind.
}HOW CAN I FAIL WHEN I HAVE NO PURPOSE?
}How can I prove that I'm not crazy to people who are?
}How come only your friends step on your new white sneakers?
}How come wrong numbers are never busy?
}"How could it?" Mishkin asked. "How could anything alter reality for $9.95?"
}"How do I love thee?  My accumulator overflows."
}How do they know no two snowflakes are alike?
}How many 'coming men' has one known!  Where on earth do they all go to?
}How many "coming men" has one known?  Where on earth do they all go to?
}How many priests are needed for a Boston Mass?
}How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
}How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
}How you look depends on where you go.
}Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill.
}Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
}Hush! Hush! Secret! I came from a fortune cookie factory.
}I am accountable only to me for what happens in my life.
}I am more bored than you could ever possibly be.  Go back to work.
}I am reminded of the immortal words of Socrates, "I DRANK WHAT?"
}I begin to die when I become too puzzled to go on.
}I believe we're under attack. - Col. Travis
}I BM.  You BM.  We all BM for IBM!
}I brake for chezlogs!
}I can feel it.  My mind.  It's going, Dave.  I can feel it.
}I can read your mind, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
}"I can resist anything but temptation."
}I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
}I can't have everything.  Where would I put it?
}I claim that wasn't necessary.   (D. D.)
}I come unbundled.
}I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
}"I didn't know it was impossible when I did it."
}I Don't Like Mondays...                 - The Boomtown Rats
}"I don't object to sex before marriage, but two minutes before?!?"
}"I don't think so," said Rene Descartes.  Just then, he vanished.
}I doubt, therefore I might be.
}I eat from the three basic food groups -- canned, frozen and take-out.
}I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.
}"I found out why my car was humming.  It had forgotten the words."
}I had a thought, and I lost it.. nothing new.
}"I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense."
}I hate rabbit jokes, they're so coney!
}I have no mouth and I must scream.
}I have to believe in something to make it reality.
}I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
}I haven't lost my mind; I know exactly where I left it.
}I know it all.  I just can't remember it all at once.
}I KNOW two plus two is four!  But I want to know WHY!!
}"I like work ... I can sit and watch it for hours."
}I like work;  it fascinates me;  I can sit and look at it for hours.
}I like your game but we have to change the rules.
}I loved a girl in Philly once....no, twice.  -- Waylon
}I must have slipped a disk - my pack hurts.
}I must have slipped a disk -- my pack hurts
}I never met a piece of chocolate I didn't like.
}I only pay attention to that which I discover for myself.
}I predict that today will be remembered until tomorrow!
}"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person."
}"I seem to be having problems with my lifestyle." - Arthur Dent
}I smell memory leakage.  Someone around here is not paying attention.
}I suggest a new strategy, R2.  Let the Wookiee win. -C3PO
}I think it needs more juice.
}"I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it."
}I thought it was from Alice in Wonderland.
}I used to be an agnostic, but now I'm not so sure.
}"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
}"I want to be immortal by not dying" - W.Allen
}I was so far behind, I thought I was 1st.
}I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
}I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.
}"I'd love to go out with you, but I have to floss my cat."
}"I'd love to go out with you, but I'm having all my plants neutered."
}"I'd love to go out with you, but I'm taking punk totem pole carving."
}"I'd love to go out with you, but it's my parakeet's bowling night."
}"I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV."
}I'll meet you half way.  You need the exercise.
}I'll worry about it tomorrow. - S. O'Hara
}I'm a beautician, not a magician.
}I'm a Lisp variable -- bind me!
}I'm always sure about things that are a matter of opinion.
}I'm an influential person - gravitationally speaking.
}I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did.
}I'm making this up as I go along! - I. Jones
}I'm not young enough to know everything, but atleast I try!
}I'm on a rotation diet of my own.  Every time I turn around, I eat!
}I'm rated PG-34!!
}I'm sure we can talk things out like civilized people. - J. Wayne
}I've enjoyed just about as much of this as I can stand.
}I've Fallen and I can't Get Up!
}I've given up reading books;  I find it takes my mind off myself.
}I've investigated reality and there's really nothing to it.
}"I've seen better heads on half a pint of beer."
}Idleness is the holiday of fools.
}If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country.
}If anything can go wrong, it will.
}If at first you don't succeed you're running about average.
}If at first you don't succeed, give up;  no use being a damn fool.
}If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool.
}If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
}If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
}If dreams came true more often, there would be less insomnia.
}If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.
}If entropy is increasing, where is it coming from?
}If God had intended Man to Walk, He would have given him Feet.
}If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way.
}If God is dead, who will save the Queen?
}If god made mankind, who can you trust?
}If I called the wrong number, then why did you pick up the phone?
}If I don't see you in the future, I'll see you in the pasture.
}If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary form.
}If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?
}If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
}If it ain't cooked, don't serve it.
}If it is not there, it does not exist.
}If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
}If it says "one size fits all," it dosen't fit anyone.
}If it screams, it's not food.
}If it weren't for the last minute I'd never get anything done.
}If it works, Don't fix it.
}If it's more than you need, it's greed.
}If it's Tuesday, this must be someone else's fortune.
}If life is a stage, I want some better lighting.
}If love were oil, I'd be about a quart low.
}If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
}If my life is not meaningful, then why should I exist?
}If one word does not succeed, ten thousand are of no avail.
}If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
}If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
}If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.
}If they throw lemons, Make lemonade.
}If this fortune didn't exist, somebody would have invented it.
}If this is timesharing, give me my share right now.
}If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
}"If value corrupts then absolute value corrupts absolutely"
}If we can't fix it -   its broken!
}"If we were meant to fly, we wouldn't keep losing our luggage."
}If you aren't part of the solution, then you are part of the precipitate.
}If you believe in gambling in the end you will sell your house.
}If you can read this, you're too close.
}If you can survive death, you can probably survive anything.
}If you can't laugh at yourself, laugh at other people.
}If you can't tie good knots... tie many.
}If you can't win fair; just win! - U.S. Grant
}If you continually give you will continually have.
}If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
}If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
}If you don't change your direction, you may end up where you were headed.
}If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!
}If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.
}If you eat yogurt you'll have lots of culture.
}If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous.
}If you have a procedure with 10 parameters, you probably missed some.
}If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
}"If you have to hate, hate gently"
}If you keep anything long enough, you can throw it away.
}If you knew what Mona Lisa knew, you'd smile too.
}If you listen to fools the Mob Rules! (R.J. Dio)
}If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.
}If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
}If you think money can't buy happiness, you don't know where to shop.
}If you want the best berries you're going to get scratched.
}If you want to be rich, look and see what the poor people do and then don't do i
}If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings -- including this one.
}If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
}If you wish, You will have an opportunity.
}If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend.
}If you're angry, count to ten.  If you're really angry, swear!
}If you're good even when nobody's looking, that's integrity.
}If you're happy, you're successful.
}If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!
}If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?
}If your computer speaks English it was probably made in Japan.
}If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted.
}If your feet smell and your nose runs - you're built upside down.
}Ignorance doesn't kill you but it makes you sweat a lot.
}Ignore previous fortune cookie.
}"Imagination is more important than knowledge" - A. Einstein
}Imagination is more important than knowledge.
}Immanuel Kant but Kubla Khan.
}In a family argument, if it turns out you are right - apologize at once!
}In a fight between you and the world, back the world.
}In Boston, it is illegal to hold frog-jumping contests in nightclubs.
}In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
}In jealousy there is more self-love than love.
}In seeking the unattainable, simplicity only gets in the way.
}"In short, N is Richardian if, and only if, N is not Richardian."
}In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm.
}In specifications, Murphy's Law supersedes Ohm's.
}In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
}In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds.
}"In waking a tiger, use a long stick."
}In which level of metalanguage are you now speaking?
}Incumbent: Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
}Indecision is the basis of flexibility.
}Indifference will be the downfall of mankind, but who cares?
}Individualists unite!
}Infinity is a self-cancelling thought form.
}Innuendo can be fun.
}Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
}Inside every big problem is a small problem trying to get out.
}Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
}Integrity is praised, and starves.
}Interchangable parts won't.
}Interchangeable parts won't.
}Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
}Invention is the mother of necessity.
}Invest in physics - own a piece of Dirac!
}Is a computer language with goto's totally Wirth-less?
}Is a Jamaican terminal a raster-farian?
}Is everybody happy? - Machiavelli
}Is it Friday yet?
}Is it wetter under water when it's raining?
}Is someone trying to tell you something?
}Is your job running?  You'd better go catch it!
}Israel's actions are often Suez-cidal.
}It ain't bragging if you really done it.
}"It all hinges on your definition of 'a good time'!" - L. Borgia
}It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.  Albert Einstein
}It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
}It is always easier to destroy than to create.
}It is bad luck to be superstitious.
}It is bad luck to be superstitious.       --- Anon
}It is better to copulate than never.
}It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all.
}It is better to wear out than to rust out.
}It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
}It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
}It is easier to write an incorrect program than to understand a correct
}It is essential that opposing action systems do not execute simultaneously.
}It is far better to be deceived than to be undeceived by those we love.
}It is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life.
}It is good to trust, but remember to always cut the cards.
}It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro, Georgia.
}It is often better not to see an insult than to avenge it.
}It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
}It is unwise to trust those you do not know well.
}It looks like an optical illusion, but it isn't.
}It looks like blind screaming hedonism won out.
}It may be GUI but you still can't eat it!
}It often shows a fine command of a language to say nothing.
}It takes a big person to admit they're small.
}It takes about ten years to get used to how old we are.
}It takes about ten years to get used to how old you are.
}It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
}It was a dark and stormy night ...
}It works better if you plug it in.
}It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
}It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
}It's all a matter of taste. - B. Midler
}It's always darkest just before it gets pitch black.
}It's always dullest before the yawn.
}It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
}It's been nice meeting you ... and even nicer seeing you leave.
}It's better to copulate than never!
}It's clever, but is it art?
}It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
}It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
}It's hard to keep your head when your neck is on the line.
}It's hard to remain true to a changing self.
}It's illegal in Wilbur, Washington, to ride an ugly horse.
}"It's men like him that give the Y chromosome a bad name."
}It's more blessed to give than to receive---especially kittens.
}It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
}It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
}It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
}It's raisins that make Post Raisin Bran so raisiny ...
}It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
}It's the thought, if any, that counts!
}Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
}Joe's sister puts spaghetti in her shoes!
}Join the march to save individuality!
}Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
}Jury -- Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
}Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not really after you.
}Just remember:  when in doubt, you're always right.
}Justice:  A decision in your favor.
}Justice: A decision in your favour.
}Kablaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
}Keep America Beautiful....  emigrate.
}Keep America beautiful. Swallow your beer cans.
}Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
}Keep grandma off the streets -- legalize bingo.
}Keep grandmothers off the streets - legalize bingo.
}Keep the X in Xmas.
}Keyboard bad or missing. Press F1 to continue
}Kids? Who said anything about kids? - Conan
}Kin:  An affliction of the blood
}"Kirk to Enterprise -- beam down yeoman Rand and a six-pack."
}Kiss me twice.  I'm schizophrenic.
}Kiss your keyboard goodbye!
}Klein bottle for rent - inquire within.
}Klein bottle for rent -- inquire within.
}Klein bottle for sale ... inquire within.
}Knock on enough doors and you'll have bleeding knuckles.
}Know thyself. If you need help, call the C.I.A.
}KODACLONE - duplicating film.
}Laetrile is the pits
}Laetrile is the pits.
}Lake Erie died for your sins.
}Last yeer I kudn't spel Engineer.  Now I are won.
}Later dates.
}Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
}Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.
}Lawrence Radiation Laboratory keeps all its data in an old gray trunk.
}Lawyers do it in their briefs.
}Lead me not to temptation, I can find it myself!
}Learned men are the cisterns of knowledge, not the fountainheads.
}Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
}Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
}Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
}Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
}Let him who is stoned cast the first sin.
}Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
}Let us remember that ours is a nation of lawyers and order.
}Life can be profitable, if you know the odds. - Ripley
}Life does not depend upon how much I know but upon how much I feel.
}Life is a series of rude awakenings. - R. V. Winkle
}Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string.
}"Life is a zoo in a jungle" - de Vries.
}Life is easier if you dread only one day at a time.
}Life is full of little surprises. - Pandora
}"Life is like a buffet; it's not good but there's plenty of it."
}Life is like a diaper - short and loaded.
}Life is like a simile.
}Life is like an analogy
}Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
}Life is what happens to you when you are making other plans.
}Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.
}Life is...life is...life is...a kumquat.......What?  You mean it isn't?
}Life seems to be a continual series of adjustments.
}Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code.
}Life's a bitch, then you die.
}Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
}Line noise? I don't get lië˛œìÊÇ·NO CARRIER
}Line Printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
}Listening gives wisdom, Speaking gives repentance.
}Live better, electrically!
}Logic is a little bird, sitting in a tree; that smells *awful*.
}Lonely is a man without love.
}Long live The Great Electronic Underground!
}Look out!  Behind you!
}Look!  A flying porpoise!
}Look!  God in drag!
}Loose bits sink chips.
}Lost interest?  It's so bad I've lost apathy.
}Louis, this looks like it could be the start of a beautiful friendship.
}Love America - or give it back.
}Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
}Love is an exchange of psychic energy.
}Love is in the offing.  Be affectionate to one who adores you.
}Love is not an art, but a way of living.
}Love is sentimental measles.
}Love me, love my dog.  --- John Heywood
}Love means having to say you're sorry every five minutes.
}Love the sea?  I Dote upon it - from the beach.
}Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first!
}Love, honor and negotiate.
}LSD melts in your mind, not in your hand.
}LSD melts your mind, not in your hand.
}Lucky is he for whom the belle toils.
}Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
}Lysistrata had a good idea.
}Mad:  Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence
}Madness is all in the mind.
}Make a cow happy, fish!
}Make a wish, it might come true.
}Make it myself?  But I'm a physical organic chemist!
}Make this evening a memorable one.
}Man and wife make one fool.
}Man do not mind bust in mouth if provided by beautiful voluptuous lady!
}Man is a social animal who dislikes his fellow beings.
}Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
}Mankind has an incestuous relationship with mother earth.
}Many a family tree needs trimming.
}Many changes of mind and mood;  do not hesitate too long.
}Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
}Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. - VOLTAIRE
}Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. -- VOLTAIRE
}Marriage, being a lifelong venture, must be approached with care and caution.
}Mary had a little RAM - about a meg or so.
}Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy!
}Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.
}Matrimony is the root of all evil.
}"Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence."
}May a Misguided Platypus lay its Eggs in your Jockey Shorts
}May all your hang-ups be drip-dry.
}May all your PUSHes be POPed.
}May Euell Gibbons eat your only copy of the manual!
}May I never be misanthropic.
}Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe.
}Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
}Meekness is uncommon patience in planning a worthwhile revenge.
}Men are more sentimental than women.  It blurs their thinking.
}Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
}Menu:  A list of dishes which the restaurant has just run out of
}MESSAGE ACKNOWLEDGED -- The Pershing II missiles have been launched.
}Message will arrive in the mail.  Destroy before the FBI sees it.
}Message will arrive in the mail.  Destroy, before the FBI sees it.
}Mickey Mouse wears a Spiro Agnew watch.
}Microbiology Lab:  Staph Only!
}Microwaves frizz your heir.
}Midas was into golden showers.
}Minnie Mouse is a slow maze learner.
}Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
}Misfortune:  The kind of fortune that never misses.
}Misster, do you vant to buy a duck.
}Misster, do you vant to buy a duck?
}Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
}Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
}Mobius strippers never show you their back side.
}Modem: A great deterrent to phone solicitors
}Monday is an awful way to spend one seventh of your life.
}Monday:  In Christian countries, the day after the football game.
}Money cannot buy love, nor even friendship.
}Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.
}Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
}Money is round and rolls away.
}Money is the root of all bills.
}Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots
}Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
}Money is the root of all wealth.
}Money is truthful.  If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.
}Money may buy friendship but money cannot buy love.
}Money talks - mine always says "goodbye".
}Money won't buy happiness, but it pays for the illusion.
}Money wouldn't be so important if everybody didn't want some
}MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.
}Morfy's law - Enythink thit ken go rong willl.
}Most men know what they hate, few know what they love.  --- Colton
}Most "scientists" are bottle washers and button sorters.
}Mother Earth is not flat!
}Mother is the invention of necessity.
}Mother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before.
}Mount St. Helens should have used earth control.
}Mrs. Ghandi is in a sari state.
}My cat has 9 lives, but my frog croaks daily!
}My components are indiscreet.
}My computer puts out.
}My cup hath runneth'd over with love.
}My only responsibility to others is to love them.
}"My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies"
}Myth-conceptions are the major cause of wars! - A. Hitler
}Natural laws have no pity.
}NBC news states, " 'TODAY' is a presentation of NBC news."  Imagine if that were
}Necessity is a mother.
}Neil Armstrong tripped.
}Neutrinos are into physicists.
}Neutrinos have bad breadth.
}Never appeal to a man's "better nature".  He may not have one.
}Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.
}Never call a man a fool;  borrow from him.
}Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him.
}Never commit yourself!  Let someone else commit you.
}Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off
}Never do anything twice that you don't have to do at all.
}Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
}Never drink from your finger bowl - it contains only water.
}Never eat anything larger than your head.
}Never give up religion, for it is the ultimate pastime. -- Brian Macke, 1990
}Never hit a man with glasses; hit him with your fist.
}Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
}Never let your schooling interfere with your education.
}Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
}Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can't answer.
}Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!
}Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
}Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
}Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him.
}Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame thrower.
}Never tell a lie unless it is absolutely convenient.
}Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
}Never try to outstubborn a cat.
}"Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon."
}Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
}Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
}New crypt.  See /usr/news/crypt.
}New financial propositions may be offered at the turn of the year.
}New systems generate new problems.
}New York is real.  The rest is done with mirrors.
}Newton's Fourth Law:  Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
}Next time, give 'the gift that keeps on giving': a female kitten.
}Nice computers don't go down.
}Nice guys get sick.
}Nietzsche is pietzsche, Goethe is murder.
}Nihilism should commence with oneself.
}No amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck.
}No job is too small to screw up!
}No man can be a patriot on an empty stomach.
}No man is an island, but some of us are long peninsulas.
}No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
}"No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid."
}No one is listening until you make a mistake.
}No one should hide their true self behind a false face. - L. Chaney
}No parking in the red zone.
}No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
}No problem is so large it can't be fit in somewhere.
}Noam Chomsky is an anti-semantic.
}Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
}NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION
}Nobody said computers were going to be polite.
}Non-sequiturs make me eat lampshades.
}Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.
}Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
}Not a sky in the clouds.
}Not all women are crazy.  Some of them are still single.
}Not everything in life is funny. - R.L. Asprin
}Note to mothers: when diapering your babies, don't do anything rash.
}Nothing is very funny when you're underneath.
}Nothing so needs reform as other people's habits.
}Nothing works, and nobody cares.
}Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
}Now and then an innocent person is sent to the legislature.
}Now that I've gone too far, where do I go now
}Nudists are people who wear one-button shirts.
}Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
}Nuke the Whales!
}Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
}Of all the people I have met, you are certainly one of them.
}Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy.
}Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before.
}"Off with her head," shouted the Queen.
}Often he who hesitates is darn glad he did.
}Oh Dad!  We're ALL Devo!
}Oh you never would believe where these little cookies come from...
}Oh, my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!
}Oh, wow! Look at the moon!
}OK, so you're a Ph.D.  Just don't touch anything.
}Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
}Old bakers never die, they just quit making dough.
}Old bakers never die, you just can't get a rise out of them.
}Old chemists never die - they just fail to react.
}Old Grandad is dead but his spirits live on.
}Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.
}Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
}Old programmers never die.  They just branch to a new address.
}Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.
}Old truck drivers never die, they just get a new Peterbuilt.
}On a clean disk you can seek forever.
}On a clear disk you can seek forever...
}On all lasergrams:  Don't forget the Zap code.
}On the edge of a precipice, only a fool does cartwheels.
}Once you understand how to write a program get someone else to write it.
}One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.
}One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.
}One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
}One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
}"One planet is all you get."
}One seldom sees a monument to a committee.
}One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.
}Only a sadistic scoundrel - or a fool - tells the truth on social occasions.
}Only adults have difficulty with childproof caps.
}Only cream and bastards rise to the top.
}Only God can make random selections.
}Only imperfect solutions are available to imperfect human beings.
}Only the artist can turn the "not yet" into reality.
}Only through hard work and perseverance can one truly suffer.
}Optimization hinders evolution.
}Our houseplants have a good sense of humous.
}Out of the frying pan, into der fire. - The Swedish Chef
}Overdrawn? But I still have checks left!
}Overflow on /dev/null, please empty the bit bucket.
}Overload -- core meltdown sequence initiated.
}Pain is just God's way of hurting you.
}panic: can't find /
}panic: kernel trap (ignored)
}Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.
}Paranoia is heightened awareness.
}Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.
}Paranoid schizophrenics outnumber their enemies at least two to one.
}Paraplegics of the world  -  Stand up for your rights!
}Pardon this fortune.  Database under reconstruction.
}Part-time musicians are semiconductors.
}Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be.
}Paul Revere was a tattle-tale
}People are boring. Computers are fun.
}"People in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones."
}People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
}People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
}People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
}People will laugh at you, but let not that prevent you.
}People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
}Personifiers Unite!  You have nothing to lose but Mr. Dignity!
}Petty crime is the scourge of business today. - D. Lorean
}Physicists get hadrons.
}Pi are round. Cornbread are square.
}Pick another fortune cookie.
}Picture if you will...
}Pity the poor corpuscle, for he labors in vein.
}Please all, and you will please none.
}Please follow more cautiously Life's Golden Rule.
}Please ignore previous fortune.
}Please keep your hands off the secretary's reproducing equipment.
}Please take note:
}Please, won't somebody tell me what diddie-wa-diddie means?
}Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
}Polymer physicists are into chains.
}Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth.
}Poverty begins at home.
}Poverty is the root of all evil.
}Power corrupts.  And atomic power corrupts atomically.
}Pray for the success of atheism.
}Predestination was doomed from the start.
}Preserve the old, but know the new.
}Pretend to spank me - I'm a pseudo-masochist!
}Pretend to spank me -- I'm a pseudo-masochist!
}Preventing baldness is simple. Just knot your hair from the inside.
}Price of admission - your premise.
}Pride invites calamity; humility reaps its harvest.
}Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
}Programmers get overlaid.
}Programming Department:  Mistakes made while you wait.
}Progress is made on alternative Fridays.
}Prunes give you a run for your money.
}Psychiatrists stay on your mind.
}Pure drivel tends to drive ordinary drivel off of the TV screen.
}Pure drivel tends to drive ordinary drivel off the TV screen.
}Pushing 40 is exercise enough.
}Put no trust in cryptic comments.
}Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
}Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth.
}Put your trust in those who are worthy.
}Quality assurance dosen't.
}QUARKBAR - the candy with flavour and charm.
}QUASIMOTO - 4 wheeled hard-top moped made in France.
}Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
}Quoting one is plagiarism.  Quoting many is research.
}"Qvid me anxivs svm?"
}Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
}Raise ducks for quack profit.
}Raising pet electric eels is gaining a lot of current popularity.
}Read everything with your eyes closed and it will all make sense.
}Reading the small print is education; not reading it is experience.
}Reagan can't act either.
}Reagan in '84......  Bush in '85.
}Real programmers argue with the systems analyst as a matter of principle.
}Real programmers don't change light bulbs.
}Real Users hate Real Programmers.
}Real Users know your home telephone number.
}Real Users never use the Help key.
}Reality does not exist - yet.
}Reality is a cop-out for people who can't handle drugs.
}Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle science fiction.
}Reality is achieved by the indefinite enumeration of objects.
}Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
}Reality is for people who can't cope with drugs.
}Reality is for people who can't cope with fantasy.
}Reality is for people who can't cope with science fiction.
}Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
}Reality is for people who lack imagination.
}Reality is for those who can't face Science Fiction.
}Reality is only for those who cannot deal with drugs.
}Reality stems from the line printer.
}Reality sure is big...
}Reality's the only obstacle to happiness.
}"Really ?? What a coincidence, I'm shallow too!!"
}Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
}Recursive, adj.; see Recursive
}Recycle, recycle!
}Remember that two wrongs do not make a right - but that three lefts do.
}Remember, even if you win the rat race - you're still a rat.
}Remember, even if you win the rat race -- you're still a rat.
}Remember, the paper is always strongest at the perforations.
}Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.
}Remember: No matter where you go; there you are.
}Reputation:  what others are not thinking about you.
}Responsibility means my: responding, listening, feeling, loving.
}Results may be unpredictable.
}Revenge is a dish best served cold - Klingon
}Rubber bands have snappy endings!
}Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
}Run it up the flagpole and see if it sticks.
}Sacred cows make great hamburgers.
}Sado-necro-bestiality is beating a dead horse.
}Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
}Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
}Satire is what closes in New Haven.
}Satyrs have more faun.
}Sauron is alive in Argentina!
}Save energy: be apathetic.
}Save the Whales -- Harpoon a Honda.
}Save the whales.  Collect the whole set.
}Schizophrenia beats being alone.
}Screw up your courage! You've screwed up everything else.
}Screw up your life, you've screwed everything else up.
}SDRAWKCAB spelled backwards is backwards.
}Security check: INTRUDER ALERT!
}"See - the thing is - I'm an absolutist.  I mean, kind of ... in a way ..."
}See you in the movies!
}Seek companionship, love and social activity at home.
}Sentient plasmoids are a gas.
}Serenity through viciousness.
}Serfs up - Spartacus.
}Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.
}SEWER COMMISSION FLUSHED WITH SUCCESS.
}Sex is a natural bodily process, like a stroke.
}Share and enjoy.
}Share your happiness with others today.
}Shared pain is lessened;  shared joy is increased.
}She criticized my apartment, so I knocked her flat.
}She's genuinely bogus.
}Shoot low, boys -- they're riding' Shetland ponies.
}Should old acquaintance be forgot... - Count of Monte Cristo
}Shouldn't you be doing something useful?
}Show respect for age. Drink good Scotch for a change.
}Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response.
}Sigmund's wife wore Freudian slips.
}Silver's law:   If Murphy's law can go wrong it will.
}Simplicity and clarity should be your theme in dress.
}Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
}Since prehistoric man, no battle has ever gone as planned. - D. Graeme
}Slowly and surely the unix crept up on the Nintendo user ...
}Small change can often be found under seat cushions.
}Small programs are for small minds.
}Smile! It makes people wonder what you've been up to.
}Smile! Things can only get worse.
}So long, and thanks for all the fish.
}Solution=a more subtle problem.
}Some don't prefer the pursuit of happiness to the happiness of pursuit.
}Some farewells are easier than others. - P. Marlowe
}Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.
}Some grow with responsibility, others just swell.
}Some men are discovered;  others are found out.
}Some people carve careers, others chisel them.
}Some people live life in the fast lane.  You're in oncoming traffic.
}Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall.
}Someone is speaking well of you.
}Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
}Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.
}Someone will try to honk your nose today.
}Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
}Sometimes in the dark you see what you want to see.
}Somewhere, just out of sight, the unicorns are gathering.
}Sorry - the Cookie Monster got here first.
}Sorry No COOKIES today!!
}Sorry, no fortune this time.
}Sorry.  I forget what I was going to say.
}Spaghetti is not fattening -- unless you eat pasta limit.
}Spare the rod and spoil the drag race.
}Speak softly and carry a +6 two-handed sword.
}Speechmaking: "Be sincere; be brief; be seated."
}"Speed is subsittute fo accurancy."
}Spelling is a lossed art.
}Spend extra time on hobby.  Get plenty of rolling papers.
}SQWERTY - Computer keyboard sized down for use by children.
}Stamp out philately.
}Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
}Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.
}Stay away from flying saucers today.
}Stay away from hurricanes for a while.
}Stayin' alive! Stayin' alive! - V. Dracula
}"Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly."
}Sticks float.  They wood.
}Stop day dreaming about success. Go out and obtain it.
}Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
}Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable.
}Stop searching. Happiness is right next to you.
}Streakers repent!   Your end is in sight.
}Strive to be what you want to be thought by others to be.
}Structured Programming supports the law of the excluded muddle.
}Stupidity got us into this mess -- why can't it get us out?
}Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
}Success has one thousand fathers.  Failure is an orphan.
}Succumb to natural tendencies. Be hateful and boring.
}Such stuff dreams are made of. - S. Beauty
}Superior firepower is an invaluable tool when entering into negotiations.
}Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
}Support National Motherhood Week - Make one today!
}Support shareware, its the right thing to do
}Support wildlife -- vote for an orgy.
}Support your local police force -- steal!!
}Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
}Sure he's sharp as a razor ... he's a two-dimensional pinhead!
}Surprise due today. Also the rent.
}Surprise your boss. Get to work on time.
}Swap read error.  You lose your mind.
}Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semi-colons;
}SYSTEM GOING DOWN AT 4:45 THIS AFTERNOON FOR DISK CRASHING.
}Take advantage of the pleasurable opportunities that come your way.
}Take an astronaut to launch.
}Take it easy, we're in a hurry.
}Take two aspirin and call the consultant.
}Talk is cheap -- unless you hire a lawyer.
}TANSTAAFL!
}Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
}Teachers do it with class.
}Teachers have class.
}Television has the ability to provide experience without risk.
}Tell you what. Let me sweeten the deal a bit for you... - Beelzebub
}Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
}Test-tube babies shouldn't throw stones.
}Texas law forbids anyone to have a pair of pliers in his possession.
}Th-th-th-that's all, folks!
}Thank you for flying BBS...
}Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
}That does not compute.
}"That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all."
}That must be wonderful!  I dont understand it at all.
}That secret you've been guarding, isn't.
}That's entertainment! - Vlad the Impaler
}That's not a bug. It's supposed to do that.
}The 80's -- when you can't tell hairstyles from chemotherapy.
}The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.
}The agony of delete.
}The attacker must vanquish;  the defender need only survive.
}The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
}The average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m.
}The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.
}The best defense against logic is ignorance.
}The best laid plans often go a fowl. - Wile E. Coyote
}The best laid schemes o' mice and men gang aft a-gley.
}The best prophet of the future is the past.
}The best things in life are for a fee.
}The best things in life aren't things!
}The best trips are the kind where you can be home by noon.
}The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
}The bigger the theory the better.
}"The bland leadeth the bland and they both shall fall into the kitsch."
}The bogosity meter just pegged.
}The butler did it.
}The chief cause of problems is solutions.
}"The Computer made me do it."
}The cost of feathers has risen.... Now even down is up!
}The cost of liberty is less than the price of oppression.
}The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
}The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
}The debate rages on: Is PL/I Bachtrian or Dromedary?
}The devil finds work for idle circuits to do.
}The devil's boots don't creak.
}The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.    --  Turkish Proverb
}The easiest way to save face is to keep the lower half shut.
}The fish that escaped is the big one.
}The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
}The gentlemen looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.
}The heart is wiser than the intellect.
}The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
}The Irish invented sin, but it took the Italians to invent guilt!
}The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. - Lao-Tsze
}The Killer Ducks are coming!!!
}The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming dragon.
}The light of a hundred stars does not equal the light of the moon.
}The longest odds in the world are those against getting even.
}The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.
}The meek will inherit the Earth..... The rest of us will go to the stars.
}The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn't.
}The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.
}The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away.
}The more I know about you, the more I like my dog.
}The more things change, the more they stay insane.
}The more times you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
}The more you cultivate people the more you turn up clods.
}The moving cursor writes, and having written, blinks on.
}The next dreadful thing to a battle lost is a battle won.
}The one item you want is never the one on sale.
}The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
}The only dope worth shooting is Nixon.
}The only race worth winning is the human race.
}The only really decent thing to do behind a person's back is pat it.
}The only rose without thorns is friendship.
}The only thing more reliable than magik is one's friends! - MacBeth
}The only thing worse than a sorcerer is a sorcerer's apprentice. - M. Mouse
}The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
}The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
}The Passive Voice is to be avoided in good writing.
}The perfect secretary is one who types fast and runs slow.
}The person who is all wrapped up in himself is overdressed.
}The person who starts by saying, "Maybe I'm wrong", is often right.
}The person you rejected yesterday could make you happy, if you say yes.
}The plural of spouse is spice.
}The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
}The proof of a system's value is its existence.
}The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.
}The quest for knowledge is the most wondrous of all human endeavors.
}The question is not whether we will teach -- but what.
}The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.
}The revolution will not be televised.
}The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right.
}The road to to success is always under construction.
}"The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography"
}The sheep that fly over your head are soon to land.
}The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
}The shortest distance between two points is usually under construction.
}The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
}The star of riches is shining upon you.
}The state law of Pennsylvania prohibits singing in the bathtub.
}The stranger, the better...
}The sum of the Universe is zero.
}The time is right to make new friends.
}The time is right to pursue your endeavors.
}The universe is laughing behind your back.
}"The voters have spoken, the bastards ..."
}The wages of sin are high but you get your money's worth.
}The way to a man's heart is through his veins.
}The way to a man's heart is through the left ventricle.
}The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
}The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
}The world is an 8000 mile in diameter spherical pile of dirt.
}The world is coming to an end ... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS!!!
}The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
}Then there was the Formosan bartender named Taiwan-On.
}There *is* intelligent life on Earth, but I leave for Texas on Monday.
}There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
}There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
}There are more ways of killing a cat than choking her with cream.
}There are no games on this system.
}There are no rules.
}There are three kinds of memory---good, bad and convenient.
}There are two sides to every argument, until you take one.
}There is a point at which even justice does injury.  -- Sophocles
}There is always someone worse off than yourself.
}There is many a good man to be found under a shabby hat.
}There is more at stake here than our lives. - Col. Travis (Alamo Pep Talk)
}There is no counter for a spirited woman except spirited drink. - R. Butler
}There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
}There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
}There is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast reflexes.
}There is no substitute for incomprehensible good luck.
}There is no such thing as a 'Fail Safe' design.
}There is no such thing as fortune.  Try again.
}There is no time like the pleasant.
}There will always be some delightful mysteries in your life.
}There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.
}There's a seeker born every minute!    --- Jerry Falwell
}There's a time to fight, and a time to hide out! - B. Cassidy
}There's a very thin line between love and hate; and you're erasing it.
}There's always one more bug.
}There's at least one fool in every married couple.
}There's my way, and then there's the easy way.
}There's no fuel like an old fuel.
}There's no future in time travel
}There's no future in time travel.
}There's no point in speaking unless you can improve on silence.
}There's no room in the drug world for amateurs.
}There's no such thing as gravity.  The whole world sucks.
}There's so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me.
}These days govt. is a four letter word.
}They also surf who only stand on waves.
}They never let you live it down. One little mistake! - Nero
}"They say I have no vision. I can't see that."     -- George Bush
}"They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them!"
}They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
}They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!
}Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
}Things are not always as they seem - Mandrake
}Things will be bright tonight.  A cop will shine a light in your face.
}Things worth having are worth cheating for.
}Think big.  Pollute the Mississippi.
}Think honk if you're a telepath.
}Think much, Speak little, Write less.
}Think of it!  With VLSI we can pack 100 ENIACs in 1 sq. cm.!
}Think twice before speaking. But don't say 'think think click click'.
}Think twice before speaking. But don't say "think think click click".
}This contest has to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen - H. Cossell
}This cookie back by popular demand!
}This cookie intentionally left empty.
}This cookie is void where prohibited, licensed, or taxed.
}This cookie will soon appear as a Bantam paperback.
}This file will self-destruct in five minutes.
}This Fortue Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14
}This fortune intentionally not included.
}This fortune is false.
}This fortune is inoperative.  Please try another.
}This is a *dangerous* place.
}This is a day for firm decisions, or is it?
}This is a GENUINE Cookie! Don't be fooled by cheap imitations!
}This is an unauthorized cybernetic announcement.
}This is another fine myth you've gotten me into! - Lor L. and Har D.
}This is National Non-Dairy Creamer Week.
}This is not Burger King!  You can't have it your way!!
}This is the LAST time I take travel suggestions from Ray Bradbury!
}This is the voice of world control.  I have brought Peace.
}This is your fortune.
}This login session: $13.99, but for you $11.88
}This space intentionally left blank.
}This week, try praising your spouse, even if it frightens them a bit.
}This will be a memorable month - no matter how hard you try to forget it.
}Those who are prospering do not argue about taxes.
}Those who can't write, write help files.
}Those who can't write, write manuals.
}Those who can, do. Those who can't, simulate.
}Those who can, do.  Those who can't, write instructions.
}Thought I wouldn't notice you sneaking off, eh?
}Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
}Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.
}Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
}Time flies when you're not paying attention.
}Time is just nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
}Time's fun when you're having flies.  - Kermit the Frog
}To be born rich is an accident; to die rich is a miracle.
}To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
}To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
}To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
}To err is human, to forgive is Not Company Policy.
}"To err is human, to forgive, beyond the scope of the Operating System"
}To err is human, to moo bovine.
}To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.
}To err is human. To really foul things up you need a computer.
}To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
}To give happines is to deserve happiness.
}To give happiness is to deserve happiness.
}To iterate is human;  to recurse, divine.
}To iterate is human, to recurse is divine.
}To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
}To keep your friends treat them kindly;  to kill them, treat them often.
}To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
}To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
}To refuse praise is to seek praise twice.
}To save a single life is better than to build a seven story pagoda.
}To the best of my recollection, Senator, I can't recall.
}Today is a good day to bribe a high-ranking public official.
}Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.
}Today is the first day of the rest of the mess
}Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.
}Today is the first day of the rest of your lossage.
}Today is the last day of your life so far.
}Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
}Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
}Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.
}Tonight's the night: Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
}Too many cookies will make you fat!!!
}Too much agreement kills a chat.
}"Toto, I don't believe we're in Kansas any more...."  Dorothy.
}TRAPEZOID - A device for catching zoids.
}Traveler, there is no path, paths are made by walking.
}True happiness will be found only in true love.
}Trust everybody ... then cut the cards.
}Trust him, but still keep your eyes open.
}Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy.
}Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.
}Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
}Trying to establish voice contact ... please yell into keyboard.
}TTFN!
}Tweedledum and Tweedledee agreed to have a battle...
}Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
}Two percent of zero is almost nothing.
}Two wrongs are only the beginning.
}Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
}UFO's are for real: the Air Force doesn't exist.
}unix soit qui mal y pense
}UNNAMED LAW: If it happens, it must be possible.
}Usage: fortune -P [] -a [xsz] [Q: [file]] [rKe9] -v6[+] dataspec ... inputdir
}Use your own judgement then do as I say
}Valuable insights and your persuasive ability achieve results.
}Veni, Vidi, Visa.
}Vice Versa - poems about brothels?
}"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.
}Virtue is its own punishment.
}Vitamin C deficiency is apauling
}Vitamin C deficiency is apauling.
}VMS is like a nightmare about RXS-11M.
}Vote anarchist
}Vote early, and vote often.
}VYARZERZOMANIMORORSEZASSEZANSERAREORSES?
}"Wait a minute, Doc...  you didn't tell me you built a TIME MACHINE!"
}Walk softly and carry a megawatt laser.
}Walk softly but carry a big stick.
}Walt Disney is in suspended animation.
}War is good business - invest your sons.
}War is peace.  Freedom is slavery.  Ketchup is a vegetable.
}Warp 7 -- It's a law we can live with.
}Waste not, get your budget cut next year.
}Wasting time is an important part of life.
}Wasting time is an important part of living.
}Watch out for the old mortar in the rocks in the fourteenth hole trick.
}We all like praise, but a hike in our pay is the best kind of ways.
}We are the people our parents warned us about.
}We are what we pretend to be.
}We can predict everything, except the future.
}"We don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company."
}We don't really understand it, so we'll give it to the programmers.
}We have a equal opportunity Calculus class -- it's fully integrated.
}We have met the enemy, and he is us.
}We prefer to speak evil of ourselves than not speak of ourselves at all.
}We promise according to our hopes, and perform according to our fears.
}We read to say that we have read.
}We wept; and through our weeping, we understood.
}We will release no software before its time.
}"We'll cross out that bridge when we come back to it later."
}We're looking for a few good men. - B. Cassidy
}We've got an unbeatable team! - Sauron
}Wealth buys leisure, but not wisdom.
}Weekend, where are you?
}Welders do it in all positions.
}Well at least a dime can still be used as a screwdriver.
}Wernher von Braun settled for a V-2 when he coulda had a V-8.
}What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it!
}What are friends for? - R.M. Nixon
}What attracts us in a woman rarely binds us to her. - J.C. Collins
}What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
}What does it mean if there is no fortune for you?
}What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?
}What fools these morals be!
}What garlic is to food, insanity is to art.
}What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
}What good are enemies if I can't depend on them?
}What hallucinations?
}What I tell you three times is true.
}What if they gave a war and only one side came? - Lucifer
}What is patriotism but the love of the food one ate as a child?
}What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
}What orators lack in depth they make up in length.
}What sin has not been committed in the name of efficiency?
}What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
}What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
}What the world *really* needs is a good Automatic Bicycle Sharpener.
}What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five-cent bagel.
}What this country needs is a good five cent ANYTHING!
}What this country needs is a good five cent microcomputer.
}What this country needs is a good five cent nickel.
}What this country needs is a good five cent nickle.
}What this country needs is a good five dollar plasma weapon.
}What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
}What this world needs is a good five-dollar plasma weapon.
}What you can not avoid, Welcome.
}What you don't know can hurt you, only you won't know it.
}What's the point-spread on World War III? - R. Reagan
}Whatever became of eternal truth?
}"Whatever you do, you'll regret it."
}Whatever you say about pornography, sex is here to stray.
}When all else fails, read the instructions.
}When all other means of communication fail, try words.
}When I know something, I have no reason to believe it.
}When I love someone, I touch them differently.
}When in doubt, do what the President does -- guess.
}When in doubt, don't bother.
}When in doubt, ignore it.
}When in doubt, press Ctrl-Alt-Del.
}"When in doubt, tell the truth" - M. Twain
}When in doubt, you're always right.
}When in trouble, cause more.
}When someone says that he's laying all the cards on the table, count them!
}When taxes are due, Americans tend to feel quite bled-white and blue.
}When the candles are out, all women are fair.   --- Plutarch (46?-120?)
}When the going gets tough, everybody leaves.
}When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
}"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."  (Raoul Duke)
}When uncertain, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
}When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
}When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.
}When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.
}When you get there, there's no there there.
}When you go out to buy, don't show your silver.
}"When you stand on the peak of time it is time to begin to perish."
}When you're not looking at it, this fortune is written in FORTRAN.
}Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
}"Where do 'cannot' and 'must' meet on the graph?" - ROBOT MONSTER
}Where there's a will, there's an Inheritance Tax.
}Which is worse: ignorance or apathy?  Who knows?  Who cares?
}While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.
}Whistler's mother is off her rocker.
}White dwarf seeks red giant for binary relationship.
}"Who cares for you?" said Alice.  "You're nothing but a pack of cards!"
}Who messed with my anti-paranoia shot?
}Who's on first?
}Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.
}Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.
}Why can't you be a non-conformist like everyone else?
}Why did the Roman Empire collapse? What's the Latin for office automation?
}Why do so many foods come packaged in plastic?  It's quite uncanny.
}Why do we have two eyes?  To watch 3-D movies with.
}Why is the alphabet in that order?  Is it because of that song?
}Why should I have to pay a troll just to cross a bridge? - B.G. Gruff
}Win or lose, you lose.
}Winning isn't everything, but it beats anything that comes in second.
}Winning isn't everything, but then losing is nothing.
}Winning isn't the most important thing; it's the only thing. - J. Caesar
}Winter is I-commin back!
}Wisdom and good sense guard life from harm.
}Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
}With a mind like yours, who needs a body.
}With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.
}Without fools there would be no wisdom.
}Without health you cannot enjoy wealth or happiness.
}Without ice cream life and fame are meaningless.
}Women should be obscene and not heard.
}Women's Libbers are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one.
}Words are the voice of the heart.
}Words must be weighed, not counted.
}Worth seeing?  Yes, but not worth going to see.
}Would the last person to leave Michigan please turn out the lights?
}Xerox does it again and again and again and ...
}Xerox does it again and again and again and...
}Xerox never comes up with anything original.
}XMODEM - A spot-marking transfer protocol.
}Ya gotta be subtle! - M. Hammer
}"Yeah, but you're taking the universe out of context."
}Yes, but which self do you want to be?
}Yield to temptation; It may not pass your way again.
}You ain't learning nothing when you're talking.
}You are a bundle of energy always on the go.
}You are a general favorite among your many friends.
}You are a person of firm, yet honest intentions.
}You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.
}You are always busy.
}You are an individual interested in foreward thrust and the future.
}You are broad minded and socially active.
}You are capable of planning your future.
}You are careful and systematic in your business arrangements.
}You are clever, alert, and intellectual.
}You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.
}You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.
}You are fairminded, just and loving.
}You are faithful to duty, adaptable to environment, loyal to friends.
}You are generous and always think of the other fellow.
}You are going to have a new love affair.
}You are heading for a land of sunshine.
}You are interested in higher education whether material or spiritual.
}You are magnetic in your bearing.
}You are never selfish with your advice or your help.
}You are next in line for promotion in your firm.
}You are no bigger than the things that annoy you.
}You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward.
}You are secretive in your dealings but never to the extent of trickery.
}You are standing on my toes.
}You are the center of every group's attention.
}You are the only person to ever get this message.
}You are tricky, but never to the point of dishonesty.
}You are versatile, energetic, artistic and good-natured.
}You are witty and fond of fun.
}You buttered your bread, now lie in it.
}You can buy flattery, but envy must be earned.
}You can change without improvement, but you can not improve without change.
}You can make ends meet, but you can't make them like each other.
}You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular.
}You can never get rid of a bad temper by losing it.
}You can observe a lot by watching.
}You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
}You can really mess up the traffic if you signal left and turn left.
}You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
}You can't be afraid of stepping on toes if you want to go dancing.
}You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.
}You can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.
}"You can't make a program without broken egos."
}You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
}You cannot make a drunk eat fire.
}You cannot propel youself forward by patting yourself on the back.
}You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
}You do not have mail.
}You enjoy the company of other people.
}You gotta stop screwing around, daddy.
}You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
}You have a deep interest in all that is artistic.
}You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy.
}You have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex.
}You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.
}You have a truly strong individuality.
}You have a yearning for perfection.
}You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
}You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
}You have an unusual equipment for success.  Be sure to use it properly.
}You have an unusual magnetic personality.
}You have been selected for a secret mission.
}You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.
}You have junk mail.
}You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.
}You have many friends and very few enemies.
}You have no real enemies.
}You have the attitude of a winner.
}You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
}You know you've landed gear-up when it takes full power to taxi.
}You like participating in competitive sports.
}You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.
}You live and learn. Or you don't live long.
}You live and you learn - or you don't live long.
}You look like a million dollars.  All green and wrinkled.
}You love peace.
}You love your home and want it to be beautiful.
}You may attend a party where strange customs prevail.
}You may be conservative, cautious and practical.
}You may be recognized soon. Hide.
}You might have mail
}You must be patient for a little while.
}You need not worry about your future.
}You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
}You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
}You never want the one you can afford.
}You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite.
}You scratch my tape, and I'll scratch yours.
}You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.
}You think Oedipus had a problem -- Adam was Eve's mother.
}You too can wear a nose mitten.
}You understand human nature and sympathize with its weakness.
}You will always be successful in your business or professional career.
}You will always get what you want through your charm and personality.
}You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.
}You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
}You will be a great success both in the business world and society.
}You will be a winner today.  Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
}You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.
}You will be awarded some great honor.
}You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
}You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
}You will be made happy by receipt of good news.
}You will be married within a year.
}You will be proud in manner but tolerant and generous.
}You will be recognized and honored as a community leader.
}You will be singled out for promotion in your work.
}You will be successful in love.
}You will be successful in your work.
}You will be surprised by a loud noise.
}You will be surrounded by luxury.
}You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.
}You will be unusually successful in business.
}You will engage in a profitable business activity.
}You will engage in a profitable friendship.
}You will enjoy the high praise of solving a problem of long standing.
}You will feel hungry again in another hour.
}You will forget all this.
}You will gain money by a speculation or lottery.
}You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.
}You will have long and healthy life.
}You will have many friends when you use corkscrew.
}You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.
}You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.
}You will marry your present lover and be happy.
}You will never know hunger.
}You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates.
}You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.
}You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.
}You will secure the greatest degree of happiness if you marry young.
}You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.
}You will soon take that long awaited vacation.
}You will step on the soil of many countries.
}You will think of something funnier than this to add to the fortunes.
}You will triumph over your enemy.
}You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.
}You'll ALWAYS overlook one of those pins in a new shirt.
}"You'll never be the man your mother was!"
}You're at the end of the road again.
}You're not my type.  For that matter, you're not even my species!!!
}You're not yourself today?  Well, enjoy it while you can.
}You've been leading a dog's life. Stay off the furniture.
}Your aims are high, and you are capable of much.
}Your are the guiding star of his existence.
}Your business will assume vast proportions.
}Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways.
}Your domestic life may be harmonious.
}Your fault: core dumped
}Your first impressions of people are best.
}Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.
}Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout.
}Your help will be needed in an embarrassing situation.
}Your karma just ran over my dogma.
}Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.
}Your love life will be happy and harmonious.
}Your lover will never wish to leave you.
}Your lucky color has faded.
}Your lucky number has been disconnected.
}"Your move" - Colossus
}Your nature demands love and your happiness depends on it.
}Your next acquaintance will be the right one.
}Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.
}Your place in the path of life is in the driver's seat.
}Your present plans will be successful.
}Your program is sick!  Shoot it and put it out of its memory.
}Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.
}Your society will be sought by people of taste and refinment.
}Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.
}Your Zip file is open.
}Youth had been a habit of hers so long that she could not part with it.
}YOW!!  Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL!"
}YTERM - A terminal program for queries.
}Zen Druids practice Transcendental Vegetation.
}Zeus gave Leda the bird.